Singlehood, Independence and all the Shit
I truly look forward for the day when I can finally say to myself, 'Phew, I survived it'.
Am leaving home to go back to Singapore tonight. *Cringe* All I can do right now is hope everything goes ok this time. Cannottakeanotherblowalready.com.
Anyway, am coloring a Horo Horo but I guess I won't be able to finish it. Gotta save some $ to get myself a pc already!
posted by Rae @ 13:31
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Houston We Have a Problem
The worst idea that one could offer in any circumstances is probably 'go get a new haircut'.
Boy, did I regret doing that! *Sigh* Not only I ended up with a bad cut, my dented confidence is pretty busted up. And I have an interview for a job that I've been eyeing on for a while lined up next week. *Sigh*
The only way (hopefully) to salvage my coiffure disaster is rebonding, which practically translates into: more dent on my already dented wallet. *Sigh*
A tight slap to myself: don't go get a new hairstyle when you can't think properly.
posted by Rae @ 03:18
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Naruto Chapter 100 - Hyuuga Neji
An attempt to take my mind off that bastard (and to get a certain pestering cheeky monkey off my back). I was trying out a new style but it turned out different. Nothing outstanding. I know it could be better if I put on more effort and focus but what the heck I kinda like it.
posted by Rae @ 16:55
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Wisdom
For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to tear, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
posted by Rae @ 02:53
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HomeBound
Am back home in Malaysia, taking a week break before work starts next month. Away from everything that painfully reminds of him.
Pop bought a new pc, equipped with wireless thingamajiq, scanner, printer and all the shit so YES! Just need to install IM to get reconnected.
posted by Rae @ 13:28
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Melancholy
Sigh.
Heavily-laden with every kind of shitty feeling available under the sun, I try to push myself forward (in vain). Thoughts of what went wrong slip in and out, overthrow me into crazy mood swings. My friends hearten me by saying I'm a tough cookie, after all those years I stuck with him (he'sdonethingsthatcouldgethimanentryintotheslammer, seriously). Well, I hope they are right. These few months in Singapore has been a torment, having to spend my birthday alone and crying myself to sleep alone... when I looked back, I thought 'why the hell did I let myself into this state!?'
Sigh.
The whole break-up is a fucking mess. He hit me where I hurt and fear the most: infidelity. Fucking bastard, I hope karma hits you 'til kingdom come.
posted by Rae @ 19:32
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The End of a 5-year-affair
In a blink of an eye, all my dreams and fantasies shattered when he said 'I'm unhappy being with you'. I lost my sense of direction. I'm falling apart inside. I can't let him go. I came all the way to Singapore leaving everything behind to be with him, just to hear that? It's ironic. He's done so many unforgivable things to me but I still yearn for his return. I'm screwed up inside out. It seems I never understood the idiom 'once bitten twice shy'. I know he's poison and toxic but I can't help it. God!
posted by Rae @ 14:34
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