Friday, June 19, 2009
Swings Like The Pendulum
Just when I thought I became stronger, my emotions swing like mofo that I cannot handle them anymore. It's up to the point where I no longer enjoy what I loved doing. A night out last night ended in a shit way. Lexapro doesn't even help anymore. I can't control and have let it manifests my being.
Three years ago, I was a rubbish among the society (sampah masyarakat), a.k.a. unemployed. I had the worst birthday and I was having suicidal thoughts. No kidding.
Two years ago, I became too cocky and somewhat became a third party. Got out from the sticky mud without casualty.
A year ago, my life took a great turn. I had a great job, moving to a really nice place. But was stuck in a superficial relationship with a younger guy who was insecure.
Now, I'm loss at words. What I can say is that again, my life takes another greater turn but this time, the can of worms was opened. All shit and nasty were unfold. I finally recognised my problem. A problem that started three years ago and unknowingly escalated to something bigger over the years. A problem that needed professional assistance.
After this week, everything will be moving really fast. I'm not one who always asks for miracles. This time, just this time. I really hope for it.
And yes, I have to let go of that person. That person who's been haunting me since last year. I need a closure. I want to be happy again.
Labels: Life
Rae wrote @ 01:18
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