Age is Arbitrary, But the Sentiment Still Rings
Am I correct to say when someone you love leaves, he/she leaves a huge impact on you? You may describe it a void while some may call it pain, a hole, a broken heart whatchamacallit etc etc. People will tell you soon it'll be gone and heal in time. I realised something today. That shitty thing won't be gone. It'll never be. It'll always be there, you'd just get used to it.
Labels: Life, The Art of Love and Relationship
Rae wrote @ 21:42
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Apt Word
Received this random email today:
would you like a sugardaddy for a discreet relationship, who trades you nicely and takes care of your shopping expenses? If you like we could even do weekend getaways.
Note the word 'TRADE'!
Having said that, today's pole dance session was free cos the dude who holds the studio keys got stuck in a traffic jam and we started half an hour late. Whoopie. It was a MJB session today so it was really nice (cos her music's always awesome) except of the pain from the bruises I got from the last session. Yes, I've still got them. My bruises take ridiculously too long to recover that it's worrying me a bit. It's been a week and they are still there. Thank god it was a finetuning class today. Not so much of the swing and spin and stuff. They look great and sexy but it pays to do it correctly. I highly recommend you girls to pick it up. It's fun and great workout.
Labels: Life
Rae wrote @ 17:44
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My Girl
Putting all the shit that's been going on I'm gonna blog about Sasha. I went to visit my girl and she's still too fat for a Lab. I reckon it was her walks. She used to walk for half an hour twice a day and run with me few times a week. She's got some eczema going on and she had another heat cycle again so she's a 3-month-interval, instead of 6-month. I'm urging her mom to spay her.
Serious sniffing session.
This shot didn't do justice to her gorgeous eyes. I love her eyes.
Rae wrote @ 01:37
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Please Don't Kick Me When I'm Down
I used to write to help me through both good times and bad times but of late, I can't write out what Ive done and how I'm feeling for fearing how people would think of me. I can't write them out fearing that I might hurt myself and people who matter to me. I can't reach out to people.
I'm gonna be honest and bare. I'm sick and I'm getting the best help there is, senior consultants and all but it's not really going my way.
People keep telling me to stay busy. What exactly can you do to stay busy? I'm jogging as frequently as possible. I'm taking two different dance classes at someone's expenses, something I'm not quite proud of. I'm ebaying my stuff to keep myself financed while I'm still here. Still it's not enough to keep me occupied.
I long to talk to that person who I look up to but I can't because he's part of the reason why I'm sick. I need to stay away from him for my sanity. But staying away doesn't really help either for he's my pillar of strength and my sense of direction.
This is when suicide thoughts are loud and clear and I have to be strong despite how painfully hard it is. I have to keep sane. I just have to be.
Labels: Life, The Art of Love and Relationship
Rae wrote @ 20:44
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Nothing Comes Easy
These turned up today. And they are painful. Upper body aches too. Wow.
Rae wrote @ 20:57
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Bruises I Await You
What fun and sexy activity that will get you such bruises?
I forsee more bruises like these soon. In a good way. :)
Rae wrote @ 17:45
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To Try is To Risk Failure
I have few things to iron out but I just know not how to put them in words. There's this thing that I'm not sure how to deal with because I'm too chicken shit to deal with the consequences. I wish there's someone to tell me what to do because I realised that we get caught up in our own delusions that sometimes we almost start to believe them as absolute truths. I don't' even know what's real and what's not now. I don't even know what I'm doing is right or wrong.
I have to be ok. I hope this is not my kryptonite.
Rae wrote @ 22:01
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We Build Our House on Cards and We Wait for it to Fall
3 reasons why men cheat on their wives.
1. Opportunity: Like what Chris Rock had said, a man is basically as faithful as his options.
2. New p*ssy: Ain't nothing better than a new p*ssy. Crude but true.
3. Monogamy isn't natural: Men CHOOSE to be monogamous, when the natural thing to do is to jerk out everything in sight.
There you go. It ain't no rocket science, really.
Having said that, I'm currently marathon-ing on Big Love, a HBO original series that a friend casually mentioned. A fictional glossed up polygamous family, in fact, inspired emotions from pride to fury among real polygamists where the show is set in a Salt Lake City suburb. I'm not a believer in plural marriage/keeping mistresses but I have respect for the women who make it work. The sacrifices they made, the heartache they hid, it's all for a mere man. Solid. Is the love they have for this man that powerful? Perhaps they were
brainwashed raised to believe in 'The Principle'.
Also it made me realize that humans are not rare commodity, girls even more so. We are disposable items with a low written down value. Sad, isn't it? Well, It's a fact of life.
As much as I want to love a man with all my heart and give everything I have to him and placing him as the first priority, I really hope that I love myself more when I meet the one. Because when the day he cheats/acquires a mistress or two comes, he'll prove that he loved himself more than me and put himself first before everything else.
Labels: The Art of Love and Relationship
Rae wrote @ 23:18
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Bang it Baby
Just when I thought of changing my hairstyle, Ms Jolie told me to stick with it for a little longer. She does it devastatingly beautiful in Salt.
Rae wrote @ 15:35
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The Darkness of Man's Heart
This is real thing. Click the pic for more info. And please help spread the word.
Rae wrote @ 22:43
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Running a Tight Ship Again
Ah I'm a mess. A real mess. The last post... I know not why I wrote that so I'm deleting it... I hereby declare myself mentally unsound. But I gotta get my act together and focus on things that
I'm supposed to be focused on. Wake up, Rae!
Oh by the way, I kinda fell in love with Onion ---->
Isn't he cute! I've just bombarded my Live MSN with those cute-until-can-die emoticons.
Anyway, it took 20kms to tame those saddlebags of mine. I've started
running jogging again. Been doing at least 5km almost every day since last week. My first
run snailwalk took 1 hour and 7 minutes. I'll be honest. I didn't feel like running. What made me move my ass from my bed was a simple promise with a friend: Run everyday. But I kinda broke that promise cos I skipped it for two days (though I might wanna add that I went clubbing. That's a form of exercise right? Right?). Heh... Anyway what I wanna say is that today I clocked 45mins for a 5km. Improvement... Also I'm throwing in squats and other leg exercises and also some hip-rolling simply because I just cannot
tahan looking at my elephant legs anymore. No more. No more.
Lastly, dog picture... Coco with spanking new hairstyle by moi during my last trip home... It was NOT easy cutting the hair. She looked very erm... choppy, ain't she?
Taken with iPhone on Polarize.
Rae wrote @ 00:41
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Poker Face
I can't really forsake this place despite how things go eh?
That person saw through me. Guess my poker face doesn't work anymore. I don't even wanna think anymore. It's killing me.
Addendum: New blog look. Spartan and modest are the words and it loads faster, don't you think? Might wanna add a header image when I find a nice one.
Labels: The Art of Love and Relationship
Rae wrote @ 05:08
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Resuscitate
I don't wanna feed on other's misfortune to make myself better. It's just wrong.
Rae wrote @ 18:49
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