Because Rae Says So

一期一会 (ichigo, ichie), is a maxim linked with zen buddhism and concepts of transience. Every encounter is unique and treasurable so even if it is brief, bid the person with a good farewell.
I feel old. I mean, yes my actions might have shown otherwise but they are a lot more going on in my mind.
I learned the term 一期一会 while watching Arashi's Mago Mago Arashi and it makes a lot sense to me. I realised how much truth there is behind these 4 words. I become more observant and I'm starting to be more aware of the reasons and the people I meet randomly.
For instance, this man whom I reassociated with after out of contact for 2 years while I was in Singapore. I tried my best to be in good terms but somehow things just got weird and stupid. Though I would want to say that I'm proud of myself at that time. I made a great effort to be there and I did it without asking anything back. It is just too bad it had to end the way it ended.
I went through my old entries chronicling my first few months in Singapore. There was one particular entry that I wrote, 'I truly look forward the day I could say, "Phew I survived it,". I was referring to the biggest change in my life, break up of my first love. Well, hey good news. Rae did survive it. She's still here.
It made me smiled and feel glad that it happened. If it didn't, I would not have met the people I've met. The people who showed me what life is. How they bound me and helped me be the Michaelangelo of my own life. But there is just one thing that I can't do: be in good terms with that bastard ex. He is the only one I can forget but can't forgive. An email from him came to me last year and it did give me an impact; my tulan-ness maxed out. Do I look like I fucking care to let you know how am I now? Do I look like I fucking want to talk to you again? I definitely do not want to do anything with him and have no obligation to be nice with him.
A longtime internet friend whom I met when I was just 19 resurfaced last week. The last time I talked to him was probably a year back and it was just a little while. I could feel he was unhappy with his life. He was struggling with his masters and was stuck with a job he doesn't really have any interest in. A friendly 'how are you' question had a fragile reply, 'while people are living, I'm just surviving,' I was sad because of the way he views his life. I was almost like that. My life was thoroughly shitty for a while but hey, I'm surviving but I'm still living. The David we are sculpting are ourselves. We are the masterpiece of our own life. They will be people who are richer, who are prettier, who are smarter, who are luckier but I still have to march on so I can't linger in something that clogs my destiny. Nothing will come out if I just keep thinking.
So I guess one of my 2010 resolutions would be treasuring each encounter and learn something from it. :)
I gotta sleep. It's gonna be a crazy day tomorrow.