Because Rae Says So

Inferno Within

2012-01-23T01:15:00.002+08:00

I know I wrote that I buried the hatchet with Cochon but the more I think about it, my decision looked no where near mature, let alone logical. The wound is just too raw. Staying friends may make me look I moved on and be cool as Yolanda but I know for the fact staying in contact's just going to eat me inside out. And that is not the mature thing to do. Hurting yourself is the dumbest thing you could ever done to yourself. I might sound nonsensical but I can't deal with this seed of dumb false hope horseshit the devil planted in me.

The core of our friendship has been compromised by our stupid impulsive decisions. Two different occasions showed me I can't trust being around with him. I understand whilst it is also my responsibility to make a difference but for someone who had intended to be just friends right from the beginning should not have done whatever he did. He also managed to make me feel at fault on how my looks fueled his decisions.

Just this one thing I absolutely ABSOLUTELY hate about life right now is that the moment I found my courage to go out and try again, shit smacked at my face in split second before I know it and actually react.

That is not fair, God. You need to stop doing this to me. Fuck that shit about me needed to learn more. The lesson's been going on way too long. I've always told myself You were with me all the way no matter what when the fact is I couldn't feel Your presence at all. I'd really like to take a break from You. You confuse the shit outta me. You know I tried. You know I really tried my fucking best.

Oh Happy Chinese New Year.

Life Doesn't Come with Instructions

2012-01-16T00:42:00.001+08:00

Friday the 13th Bad Luck decided to leave my ass alone. My Friday the 13th was great. I braved myself to Werner's alone. I had too much beers and the bartenders were so generous providing me a free and steady flow of shooters seeing I was alone at the bar. I left my cocky ass somewhere back home and strike up random conversations, meeting great people along the way; great girls to be exact. They, being lesbians, fended off sleazy guys for me. Another 'I surprise myself'! Hitting the bar alone takes quite bit of courage and luck! Just so you know, I'm not turning lesbian.
I need to rise above hate. I told myself not to get dragged down by things that sucked balls like I used to. I'm trying get done being pissed at the recent guy, let's call him cochon (tribute to his 2nd language. Not referring to his physical/attitude... pigs are cute, aren't they?) and be in good terms with him. One grudge off so with all the stupid stuff's behind my back, I'm ready to sail ahead.

Saturday was also another different day too, I helped out in an orphanage event at camp 5 which actually kind of contributed to my 'a couple of new things to learn in 2012 list'; indoor rock climbing.

I totally photobombed this shot. LOL. Honestly I was trying my best to stay awake and fight the hangover though in this photo I was probably watching a group of guys doing the freestyle spiderman thingamajig; they called it bouldering.

I had no absolute idea what to begin with my list this year to be honest. I failed miserably last year; I didn't learn ice-skating as planned. The desire just wasn't there. The only thing I managed to do was learning Japanese.
I hope I can keep up with it this year. A 30 minute-kickboxing last week 'inspired' by cochon was great but kickboxing was just too expensive. I was a bit cautious when I found out the trainer assigned to me was a girl but turned out she has extensive experience in martial arts... need I say more? She's awesome.
I also met a friend who shares similar interests and she too has just went through something similar to my experience with cochon. We spent a couple of hours talking about our 'predicaments' and it really does feel great talking to someone who understands. Hopefully it's a start to a long-lasting friendship.
I will try to remember a few important things MCP told me before. First and foremost, always keep myself fit. My journey in this life is still very long. And also, the keyword for me this year is courage. So when I falter and forget that along the way in this year, please be a good samaritan and pick me up and remind me to be courageous.

Bad Vibes

2012-01-13T22:30:00.001+08:00

I must have picked up some weird ass wrong vibes somewhere along the way because bad (but minor) things are happening back to back.

It seems this year kicked start in the opposite direction. Ok just so you know I'm drunk-blogging right now from a bar I always frequent whenever I'm at Changkat BB.

It was really relaxing French music half an hour ago and it's r&b mainstream all the way. Yeah. You should be here!

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He Said, She Said

2012-01-11T01:07:00.001+08:00

Honestly, I don't really know how to start this post.

A very VERY recent DTR taught me lessons I thought I already knew. Signs were there but I chose to challenge them. He and I had our own sets of things to justify and it was a lesson to both of us. Usually, I'd have stayed quiet and say bye bye, avoiding the confrontation and I wasn't really given the chance to talk it out. But this time I made myself vocal and clear. I'll give him credit for letting me to do so. I'm not going to ride on that hell called depression again. He was surprised to know how upset I was and the reason why. Re-reading that talk on whatsapp (I chose to be this way instead of dinner we initially planned. I sorta knew what was coming my way so why bother doing it during dinner plus I communicate better this way) made me look like I was this typical girl I didn't want to be. All the while I tried to be one of the boys who played it cool and made it feel as if didn't matter but I guess I'm not one of the boys. Trying to be one made me suicidal. I'm a girl so I'll be a girl. This time, although I might have sounded a little selfish (he probably thinks I was not making sense along the way but fuck that. I took too much care on how people think of me anyway), I felt better.

Many fingers pointed to me that I made the mistake by hooking up too early and despite me thrashing that statement two posts ago, I almost fell into the trap until MCP told me this: even if you slept with him a few months down the track, it wouldn't have made a difference to him unless his outlook on what he wants in life had changed.

So there. It'll take me a while to take up his friendship offer and not that I am mean, I probably won't at all. I have to put myself in priority.

On a positive side, I realised how ready I am for the ultimate. I surprised myself for going all the way for the former guy, something that I don't think I would have done. Neil Gaiman did tell us to surprise ourselves somewhere in the year in his new year quote. Guess what, I did just that and it feels great (even though the outcome sucked balls).

We Run the Night

2012-01-07T13:58:00.001+08:00

Yes it's my style to run the night. Looking at the stats, it's quite something though I'm pretty sure I could do much better than that. I always falter in the end, a bad habit that I should really work on. Plus the location of my gym isn't exactly desirable; having to have to brave two traffic jams makes me go "let's go home and watch The Big Bang Theory,".

Of course you can't really rely on these stats... you know what happened to the bloody sensor in 2010. LOL.

Having to return to work after a 10-day-leave cultivating mushrooms (aka doing nothing) at parents' house, my staff was shocked to see me grew skinnier. Well, can't blame them cos who the heck would lose weight after a considerably long holiday at home doing nothing, right!? Beats me too but I suspect the culprit being those 2 night outs of dancing; zouk and NYE. Great workout. I notice I lose weight easily with regular night outs of dancing. Great, now I have to find partner-in-crime to do that. The last one, Sherri, has gone upnorth to serve her housemanship in some rural hospital. Sigh. Though it's odd to have bumped into her (was that new boyfriend??) at the club during Deepavali. Hmmm....

Reverse Flow

2012-01-04T23:01:00.000+08:00

One of biggest mistakes a girl make with a guy according to the internet is that she sleeps with him too soon. I think it's a whole lot of horseshit. Who came up with it anyway!? It's a real horseshit that I feel men pin it up on women when they just want to get away from their actions.
Men are sexual hypocrites. They push women for sex, and then blame them for having sex. They're particularly held onto the idea that if a woman jumps into bed with them quickly then she must have done this with lots of other men too, making him lower her value in his eyes. After all, if everyone could get her, she can't be that special, right?
It doesn't matter if it's 2nd date or the 15th date when you decide to sleep with him. If he's Barney Stinson, he's gonna leave you anyway in the end. So it's not wrong for me to say sometimes sleeping with guys 'too soon' isn't bad. The whole process/journey of getting heart broken will be in fact be shortened. If he stays, he stays.
Oh do let me point out that the first 'mistake' on that article was 'we chase them'. What the heck is that!?

Leaving 2011

2012-01-01T18:36:00.001+08:00

Recapping year 2011, it was a year with moderation as the keyword. Ok it wasn't as exciting I'd wanted it to be nevertheless, it was a safe no-drama-llama year and it ended pretty nicely.
1. Significantly reduced my trips to the gym hence weight gain. Ain't proud of it.
2. Was 'adventurous' in baking and cooking. Tried many new recipes and even experimented in Japanese home-cooking.
3. Won a RM1500 cash voucher from company's D & D lucky draw.
4. Got called up by DJ Natalie from Hitz.fm and was told that I won some lucky draw sponsored by Sunway Pyramid Mall. The conversation was aired live on national broadcast. Huhuhu.
5. Expanded my book collection incredibly.
6. Got hooked on The Big Bang Theory.
7. Traveled solo to Sabah. Loved it. Will highlight that I was hit on by a very old man when I was visiting Gomantong Cave (where the bird nests pickers thought I was a Japanese...); he asked for my number.
8. Dated a Black British man briefly. I find him too ~~rude~~ straight-forward.
9. It's the big 30!
10. Went to a musical for the first time.
11. Purchased a car.
12. Fell out of love with Apple iPhone.
13. Took up Japanese language class.
14. Attended my first Malaysian rave; Heineken Thirst. They made us queue, for entry, according to the gender. WTF.
15. Became lactose-intolerant - this is absolutely horrendous.
16. Was quite successful in cutting down happy drink intake. I stuck to my 2011 resolution!
17. Visits to doctor noticeably increased; culprit being bad toxic food, not my tonsils.

Not a great year but it wasn't bad year too. Look forward to a better year. You guys have a good year too.

Oops I Did it Again

2011-12-29T01:27:00.001+08:00

A certain department in my life which openly in need of attention has taken an unexpected turn and it's quite unsettling that I'm treading it too carefully I might just screw it up as usual. I might have been overthinking too. Ah the dilemma!

How's Christmas? Having to have spent the eve at zouk (finally!) my Christmas was, in contrary, low key. Speaking of zouk, it wasn't the friendliest lot. The operators are downright rude even if you're on the VIP list. New year's eve is the second round but I sorta turned it down. The last time I went to the place my beer went warm within half an hour but maybe I shouldn't turn it down so easily. The organiser was sweet enough to invite me plus I owed him drinks.

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Out of Commission

2011-12-23T16:38:00.001+08:00

Sgt. Right Thumb; out of commission. Hurts like a mother. :(

Show and Tell of the Day

2011-12-22T00:38:00.001+08:00

Rae's day started great with a yummy Angus Steakhouse burger. Work was fine, nothing major happening. And then a former schoolmate shouted her a Vietnamese lunch. It would had been better if her duck confit salad wasn't that salty.

At 4pm, Rae noticed her shoes she wore this morning were different. OMG! Two different shoes!

Rae met up with a long-lost friend for supper and caught her thumb between the car door (The friend even offered to snap a picture to upload to Facebook). OMFG! The pain is OMZFG and it's numb at the same time and it won't stop bleeding at the eponychium (I goggled it, I'm not that smart)! The thumb also feels like a balloon going to burst anytime soon. Let's hope the pain and the swelling subside tomorrow so she could tell if the thumb's fractured or not. Haiya~

Miracle

2011-12-20T02:48:00.002+08:00

Apparently, the word 'miracle' has the same spelling as the word of same meaning in French. Anyway, Foster is due to be screened next year but I managed to watch it last night and it was great. I love it. Toni Collette was just as brilliant as she was in Muriel's Wedding. Her Welsh (or Scottish? I haven't any idea but it's most definitely not London accent) accent was entertaining and convincing though it kinda remind me of that Scottish ass I met nearly two years ago. She is one of very few actors who could speak in any accent and get away with it. She's just brilliant. Her American accent in In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz and Little Miss Sunshine made you think she was an indigenous I absolutely love her despite that gap between her two front teeth and that awful brown halter/bareback slutty dress she wore to some event.
Back to the point, how I found this feature length isn't important but it's definitely festive appropriate. No spoilers for you so go ahead and find out yourself.

And speaking of accents, Hot Fuzz has one particularly hilarious scene:

A Hateful Crucial

2011-12-18T20:12:00.001+08:00

A position I absolutely despise but I have to do it repetitively. Urgh!

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Seven and Counting

2011-12-18T02:44:00.003+08:00

Come this Wednesday this blog marks its 7 years in existence. Wow can you believe it? 7 years batshitload worth of happy, boring, sad, depressing, whimsical, crappy, illogical, incomprehensible posts. This blog is a quite a feat I will say; never knew I would be able to keep it up for this long therefore I do think I deserve a pat on the head!
Having said that, I'd like to move on to something else. I was on the spiral ride down to depression again; a situation that I absolutely hate to be in. I wrote a very long email to someone who said something awful to me but of course I didn't send it. I feel absolutely shitty about myself. I guess I have to stop watching shows on the laptop. They say the most depressed people are the ones who watch tv and don't end up getting out there and live life. Instead they live others' through tv. Shit, ain't that the truth with a whole lot of moxie? Or whatever that is.
Putain! I gotta get my shit together!

10.12.2012

2011-12-11T03:08:00.001+08:00

Instead of zoukOut, I attended this just now:

It's quite ironic that the event was named Thirst, I was friggen thirsty for the first 2 hours because there's no water booth could be found!

DJ Tiesto in the house!

Level Up

2011-12-09T22:49:00.001+08:00

Just like the Christbo tree in The Sims Social, I'm leveling up it bit by bit.

あいうえお

2011-12-06T22:44:00.001+08:00

So my Japanese 101 started last week and we were required memorize 25 letters of Japanese alphabet (about half of the alphabet). My teacher, Konno-sensei, is gonna omit the use of romaji on the third lesson.The next lesson is this Thursday and I think I'm gonna suck reading hiragana cause I'm struggling recognizing the characters. Oh Holy Buddha, I need to eat more ginkgo.
I must say despite it being the beginner's class, the teacher shows no mercy and conducts most of the class in Japanese. Thank god I already have some of the basic so it's kinda easy to follow her class. Watashi wa arigatai na, honto... Arashi-san saiko! (I'm very thankful... Arashi is the best! - or something like, i think. I wanted to say I'm thankful for Arashi but my vocab's still limited). We were made to introduce ourselves in Japanese in the first 15 minutes, ironically I struggled with the word onegaishimasu. LOL.

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

2011-11-28T00:35:00.001+08:00

Ah It's been sometime don't you think?
I meant to stop playing games but I ended up playing storm8 games again on ray. This one little chickadee from Louisiana just pissed me off on personal level by leaving a stupid comment about me and my ally and further lit me up in the wrong way when he realised his dumb move and spammed my wall with apologies. What the heck.
I gotta be extra careful with my diet now because of the shutdown of my lactase factory I'm suffering more-than-occasional digestive problems. Such like today, the donut I had for lunch must have had milk in it my tummy's perplexed and is making me feel all wrong I really want to cry. I miss having cereal with milk. I absolutely hate this french hell. Someone must have hated me.
I missed Nike's marathon this morning. I just couldn't wake up. Work's been long and crazy for the past week plus it was raining so I took it easy doing a movie marathon; The Hangover 2 (I absolutely love Mr. Chow), Water for Elephants (I find Robert Pattinson's mouth/teeth off-putting upclose), Larry Crowne (nice mature/adult movie. Tom Hanks looked a bit like MCP in there), I am Number 4 (oh too bad it didn't become a franchise I quite like it) and Friends with Benefits (Justin Timberlake's body is one fine thing and I used to hate Mila Kunis because she was that super mean Jackie @ That '70s Show but after reading her wiki page, I think she's awesome). Well, will you look at that list? All sorts of genre, I love it.
Ok so yeah anyway that's about it I think...
And I really feel like pulling my stomach out and feed it to the cats.
Here's some old skool Aussie thing for you to end: see ya round like a rissole.

O Come All Ye Faithful

2011-11-18T20:09:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling it already!

Mikaela vs Carly

2011-11-17T00:40:00.001+08:00

I was kinda happy that ~~Megan~~ Mikaela's not the third installation (she's just kind off real life according to the tabloids/internet) but when I was halfway through Transformers 3 earlier (yes I know I'm about 5 months late, what can I do?), I miss her and I want her back! Carly added a totally different element to the movie. Okay y'know what, let's get real: Carly was downright off-putting I was wishing she was killed by some random shots during the action scene!
Mikaela kicked ass and got down dirty with her hands. She's with the boys trashing Decepticons. I was impressed when she went all the way out with Bumblebee in Mission City (Transformers 1). She's an ALLY. A strong ally. And did Carly do? She pretty much just stayed there looking good and sexy throughout the movie and screamed "SAM!" for help. The only merit was her bitch comment of Sentinel to Megatron. And that particular scene was particularly ludicrous! Megatron didn't flick her like a fly when she called him a bitch. What the heck? And the difference between awesome Mikaela and whiney Carly was Mikaela would not stop Sam from saving Bumblebee when Bee was about to be executed by a Decepticon. When I was watching that scene, I went 'HOW DARE THAT BITCH STOPPED HIM?! You gotta be kidding me, right?!'
Too bad Megan wasn't thinking long-term when she said what she said about Bay. Transformers 3 would had been even better with Mikaela in it.

MIKAELA FOR THE WIN!

PS - I'm quite bored with Sam's smart-ass talking already. His interview scene's so Jack Black and recycled. Bleh.

Industrious

2011-11-15T23:26:00.001+08:00

My creative juice's overflowing I'm on a roll.

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Testdrive

2011-11-14T19:35:00.001+08:00

Blogging from my Xperia ray.

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Rae Meets Ray

2011-11-13T01:19:00.001+08:00

Replaced my good old reliable razr with Ray today. Yeap, Xperia Ray. I've decided to abstain from playing games thus Xperia Play is out of question and I'm not repairing my PS2 either. So far Ray's been interesting, equipped with an impressive 8.1mp camera that does stuff like smile recognition and such. It's very small. And slim. I'm happy. One of the deciding factors is its similar name to mine. Though I have to add that the pictures I took with it were kind of a bit too white. Shrug.

I finally recovered from some nasty throat infection that gave me fever and made me disoriented for nearly a week. I thought I'd faint anytime. Today was a rare day when I came out of my shell and went to MidValley to get my Nike We Run KL race pack. Mine was a different pack compared to others; it has this red strip:

Who doesn't like 'priority access'? Smug.

Since I was already at MidValley, I mucked around for a while. The huge pets store was always a favourable attraction. Mucked around in Metrojaya and found wonderland. The christmas decor section was fabulous. I almost went berserk and could have bought a RM400 white christmas tree before God put some sense in me so I settled with this instead:

This set me back for about RM170. Yeah, just a goddamn wreath! My christmas tree (decor included) was just SGD50 for god's sake!

Of course, no post is complete without food porn:

Okinawan cuisine; ashitibichi. I replaced pig trotters with chicken meat. Because I didn't know where to get the trotters, I dislike the thought of cooking for 9 hours and I wanted to be healthy.

Ok gotta go sleep. Setting up the christmas tree tomorrow!

Bazinga, Punk! Now We're Even.

2011-11-03T01:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like that's what God says to me when He lets Lady Karma kicks my ass after I did something bad. Oh well, I love you too God. Having said that, The Big Bang Theory Season 5's up. Oh man, Sheldon Cooper farts roses and shits rainbow.

Sakuran is highly recommended, Anna Tsuchiya was brilliant as usual; she is one of my fav actresses. Added to the list is Naka Riisa, who shone in Yankee-kun to Megane-chan. I first noticed her in Himitsu no Arashi-chan and how they kept harping about Nino and her looked so much alike. Because of YanMega, I'm pro Riisa-Hiroki Narimiya but too bad Hiroki is gay (that's what the internet says) Both got along so well and would have made a cute couple. Their second collaboration, The Party is Over, is just as interesting too. Watch it if you could. I liked the ending.

Distress Signal

2011-10-27T18:19:00.000+08:00

So I finally went to get a haircut at Number76. The hairstylist, imported all the way from Japan, took quite a long time checking (more like flipping) my hair and then decided to chop the back since it's way too long compared to my front. The whole process was silent since there was a communication barrier. But it just broke when he caught me by surprise when he said something intangible in English. He found my reaction hilarious. -_-
And he said my hair was too straight. TOO STRAIGHT. Urgh.
In the meantime, since I had to sit and stare at my own face for an hour while he fussed my hair, I noticed how aged I've become. And how round my face is. I look too old for a 30-year-old! Holy Buddha Jesus Christ. I need to start drinking the collagen thingamajiq and probably go back to my dermatologist to get that RM400 miracle injection she's shouting about. I'm so sad.

Discover

2011-10-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

My 100gb external hdd went AWOL on me and when I called Western Digital up they said they would exchange a spanking new one but data recovery is impossible. Gone are my photos, my mp3s, my movies (over 100 titles), my Arashi variety shows (over 500 episodes), my 4 seasons of The Big Bang Theory series, my HBO series titles and my Jdrama titles.
And then when I was trying to delete these 2 VLC files that have been refused to be deleted from my machine with cmd.exe thingamajiq (cos normal deleting just won't work on them; it's that awful From Prada to Nada movie file) I accidentally deleted the rest of my Jdrama collection, latest Arashi variety shows and season 5 of The Big Bang Theory.
I hate the urban acronym FML but this time... seriously FML!
Work will be different soon. Huge biannual project will be happening next month and early next year will see transition to the principal. The transition to the principal had a negative impact on Singapore team; 94% of the team left, leaving 3-4 stayed with the brand. Personally, the skeletal plan for us seems optimistic to me. Paperwork will probably be double the volume but I do forsee a structured and organized management. I experienced such when I was with Zara and I reaped nothing but goodness from there. The current company I work for, the franchisee, lacks structure which was a surprise to me since it's a collossal corporation in Malaysia. The training and development department is ancient. Good news is it's just starting to mold with current trend, but not without copying the training and development program the brand I'm in. I'm not bad-mouthing the company but it is what it is. And I don't really like the fact that I always find myself in pursuit of my bosses' signature who are about 20kms away!
On a lighter and a much brighter side, I'm sharpening my culinary skills. Yes, more Japanese cooking:

Miso soup with eggplant, Japanese curry (pig's heart this time) and hijiki no nimono (I oversoaked hijiki ;p). Please don't mind the Chinese bowls, western spoon and Korean metal chopsticks lookalike. I go international, what can I say? And my mini Japanese pantry is almost complete; missing is the Japanese rice (too expensive) and wasabi. I've never liked wasabi anyway plus I always find it's kinda rude to complement food with wasabi just like I find it rude to the chef if I pour chilli sauce/ketchup into food. It's like telling the chef your food is tasteless. WTHeck.

A mention of a recent yummy fruit that I've found: Nova Mandarin; a hybrid of Clementine Mandarin and Orlando Tangelo (don't ask me why they rhymed and Nova doesn't). I'd expected to crumple my face a bit but heck this little cuties have zero tinge of sourness. Absolutely zero sourness. It's all sweet goodness. Aesthetically, they are pretty red in colour.

Another good mention of one yummy snack. Sesame seed biscuit from the local Japanese foodstore.
Ok, this clearly shows I'm back in watashi Nihon daisuki (I love Japan) phase. I love the food, I love the language, I love the culture, I love the place, I love the variety shows and pretty almost everything about Japan but I don't think I'm a Japanophile. At least not a hardcore one, I don't have interest to stay and make a living there. Visit, yes but not staying there permanently. I don't think I can keep up with the culture. It's too tight up in the ass. And my sole reason for wanting to take Japanese language lesson; it's a bitch to having to search high and low for subbed Japanese tv shows. I'm tired of relying on subs.
And also, we can safely say I've broken my cucumber diet. Wahaha. It lasted for 3 days.

Tad Too Tepid

2011-10-16T20:18:00.005+08:00

I feel like being in a slump thus I find myself in constant foul mood. Work's getting stagnant and boring. I don't feel like training for the upcoming marathon. I've been watching Japanese stuff on laptop way too much I'm a hermit again. I'm sorta on cucumber diet; munching on Japanese cucumber with roasted sesame seed dressing for breakfast/lunch/sometimes dinner but I'm on the verge of breaking it. I reckon the extreme calorie reduction's playing mind games with me. And then my housemate baked some irresistible brownies a couple of days ago... :(

I haven't change my hairstyle for the longest time, the only thing I was playing around was the bangs. I heard about number76 and I'm quite tempted to let them have fun with my hair. Plus I need a haircut, if not a trimming. My split ends are no joke. But then again, I can't really splurge. Paycut due company's massive move to 'standardise commission schemes' is effecting me measurably. And crazy LHDN's eating up an excessive amount from my pay every month because they think it's better to cut more so I could avoid facing difficulty paying up when the income tax filing thingamajiq time comes. I have to reconsider my plan to take up Japanese language lesson end of this month too. All these probably demotivate me at work. I don't like this!

That aside, I tested my culinary on Japanese homecooking yesterday:

Kinpira gobo. Julienning gobo aka burdock with blunt knife = blister. :(

Japanese Curry. I must say it was a bit too dry that I had to add more water for my dinner portion.

I didn't make this from scratch, I used instant roux bought from the local Japanese foodstore. And by the way! Prices for Japanese foodstuff at Jusco is expensive! Mirin's sold at RM26 there while the local Japanese foodstore sells the same at RM18! I'd always thought it's going to be more expensive at Japanese foodstore!

I contemplated for about 15 mins at the supermarket before getting pork shoulder blade cut instead of lean cut. Damn it's tender and yummy. I made a poor decision in choosing lean beef for nikujaga few days ago.

OK that's all, abrupt end to this post. Can't string any sentence anymore. Hungry.

Oyoyo

2011-10-09T21:08:00.004+08:00

The past few days have been hell; I had food poisoning. The trouble this time was the 'substance' defied gravity and won't go south, instead it went north thus I couldn't eat/drink much. Ah the agony. I'm hungry and thirsty. I wanna eat fried chicken.

November 27th marks Nike We Run KL 10K. Yeap and that means I gotta get serious with my running again. That cursed toe's ok now, new nail's growing beautifully. I should stop making it an excuse already plus I gotta lose some weight.

I killed my time catching up the jdramas that I've been wanting to watch. Call me kiddy but I absolutely love Yamata Nadeshiko Shichi Henge and Ouran High School Host Club. I've never really took notice of Kamenashi Kazuya, the lead actor of Yamato Nadeshiko but he was a brilliant actor, I would say he's even better than any of Arashi members. He made me asked myself why the heck did I like Arashi. He isn't really an eye candy to me but I'm developing a crush :D Perhaps I should say I'm developing a crush on the drama character. I have no idea how Kame is like as a person.

To break the monotony:

I love sock buns. And isn't mine humungous!?

Unravel

2011-10-01T21:07:00.006+08:00

Sorry I have not much creative juice in me of late. I haven't been reading much. Anyway I was just watching Arashi's variety show and like I mentioned it before, I was impressed that they always managed to make me learn something. In this segment they had the members of Arashi experience something with specific experts and they are set to try and improvise with the knowledge imparted by the expert. I was just watching Sho's attempt in haggling and Aiba's wine-tasting experience, boy... I'll just tell you what I've learnt from them.

First, Sho's haggling. It's not much of the haggling that I was impressed with, it was on how to get what you want. There are bad customer service and good customer service. There are also good customers and bad customers. From watching Sho haggling, I realised being a good customer (the one who walks in saying good things and doesn't have that arrogant air) will get you what you want, and perhaps, more.

As for Aiba's wine-tasting, the language of wine is... (the word that first came to my mind was gaudy :p) interesting, daunting no less. Wine doesn't sit right with me.

I don't really like the way the alcohol assault my senses when I sip them. Everything just goes blank ergo I will not be able to find the words to describe it. Plus how interesting can it be when it's just woody, robust, smokey and dry, right? Aiba was taught to describe the wine like describing a lady's body type. Suddenly wine becomes romantic. I'd say it'll backfire if I were to use that technic. So I thought instead of that, I'd probably describe wines using male personality. for instance describing the wine like Sean Connery; well-aged (LOL), handsome, woody, rich.

I love the interminable river of knowledge flowing out of tv.

Don't let people tell tv is no good, ok?

Ain't My Cup of Tea

2011-09-29T21:15:00.016+08:00

I've been scribbling recipes here and there and bookmarking the 'to-try's on Chrome. 80% of my bookmarks are recipes I found online. I want to transfer everything into a book, an attempt to go old skool and perhaps hand it down to daughters/granddaughters/great-granddaughters/great-great-granddaughters as an "heirloom". After much hype by food/cook bloggers, I decided to get a Moleskine Passions Recipe Journal but it fell short of my expectation. First glance, the journal seemed to be well-designed and creative but it is something else when you put it into use.

What I like about this journal (apart from its leather-bound signature):

1. Useful measures & conversion (though I usually google it up. My bad habit: I have my laptop nearby; for music and quick reference with Google. Oh how I love the Internet!).

2. Double pockets at the end of the notebook is just smashing to keep loose notes and stuff. And stickers... I'm getting more pretty stickers soon. Yay~

3. 3 ribbon separators instead of one.

Cons:

1. Though nicely-indexed, there's only about 15 pages for each index which means you can only write max of 17 recipes for each index/course. I'm enlarging my desserts index with side dishes index.

2. Ingredients box is too small. See below. The ingredients filled half of instructions section already. Actually, the instructions section is kind of small too. And I prefer my handwriting to be bigger for this so I don't have to squint and shit when I bake/cook and I probably have to use 2 pages for recipes that includes many ingredients. That means you'll have less than 17 recipes in a course/index.

3. Half of the notebook is made of wide-lined pages and a bit of blank pages (what for?)

This is my current scribblings of the recipes. They are mostly on my Moleskine pocket lined notebook that I write things-to-do/grocery/travel/whatever-takes-my-fancy (last check there were dvd, song, wishlist, memorable qutoes, etc) lists. I even use it during meetings and trainings and all sorts. :D A bit boring for recipe-keeping I must say but it's definitely more practical. And it's definitely cheaper! What, like half of the price of that recipe journal?

I should have gotten the large lined notebook instead.

Additionally, I will admit my mistake; most, if not all, of my recipes are cakes, muffins, breads and desserts-kind so I don't really need the index thingamajig, do I?

Satire

2011-09-25T16:58:00.002+08:00

1. My Japanese PS2 went and un-modded itself so now I can't play my games.

2. I finally cut off my cursed toenail so it's sensitive and kinda off threw me off when I sleep with my blanket... on?

3. The gossip blog that I stalk almost everyday is rallying against Beyonce. The blog thinks her pregnancy is fake.

4. I'm currently hooked on The Sims Social on Facebook.

5. The gym called the other day saying they haven't seen me for quite some time and they missed me.

Nothing much.

Choux à la Crème

2011-09-16T17:00:00.002+08:00

A fresh from the oven, cream puff.

Unfortunately it wasn't really successful, the pastry collapsed when I got them out of the oven. I found a very easy recipe that's with ingredient I already have at home (flour, milk, butter, eggs, sugar and vanilla essence plus the cream has the same ingredient) so I decided to go ahead with that recipe. Usually I'd search for a couple of other recipes so I won't miss out any points.... and this particular recipe... ah.... he didn't point out the important stuff I should take note therefore my pastry fell flat. Ah. Also thank god I halved the recipe (the recipe yields 40, too much for one person ain't it) because one of the reasons to avoid collapsed pastry is that I have to get them into the oven when the batter's still hot. My oven is tiny so I can't bake much at one go... Ah...

Nevertheless, the taste remains the same; yummy. :D

Rear Revelation

2011-09-04T19:59:00.002+08:00

Here's the thing right, it's a general consensus that I've got a big rear, ok more like wide hips and I do think I could lose a couple of pounds down there to be look more pleasing. But you see, I'm a XS for underwear so if I were to lose some poundage there, I gotta wear XXS which I doubt its existence at my favourite store so does that mean I gotta make do with kiddie underpants?

Does this make any sense to you?

An Open Letter to God

2011-08-31T23:12:00.013+08:00

Hey, Big Man up there in heaven? It's me, Rae. How have You been doing? Sorry I haven't spoke to You for quite some time. Me? Oh You know, life. Been busy down here. Who am I kidding? You know what I've been up to.

In my defense I did leave some 'instant messages' for You, like the other day when I was having my homemade mixed veggie stir-fry lettuce wrap I was ever so thankful for such delish and I said to You 'God, please make sure I still know how to make this in my next life' (though it's not right to believe in next life... I blame my non-Christian upbringing :D). Nevertheless, You know what I'm trying to say, right? You know how pissy I was about my commercial gym membership and how I was determined to end it because I had no car to travel around/to go to the gym. Somehow You made it possible. I got a car and got the membership transferred to the nearest gym (I'm trying to forget the big oops moment when they handled it though and it kinda turned sour a little while because of my currently fungus-infected toe). And then there's the recent 'thank you' for the Internet. You know I'm always thankful. You gave me a good life although I complain about it a lot of times and kinda screwed it up a couple of times and You still give me chances to make amends. I thank You for Ne-Yo. Heck I'm gonna quote Abba, thank You for the music. I thank You for enabling humans to create awesome headphones (Yes, I'm referring to my Sennheisers. Music's the never the same again). I thank You for Cooper Anderson but it's a shame he's gay. I thank You for giving me an inquisitive mind. You gave me a great job. You made sure I get things I wanted. Thank You, Lord. Oh, and sorry for being an ass sometimes.

But, erm... listen, Man. There's just one little thing that kind of eludes You. Yeah that. You know, right? So yeah. I'm wondering what's Your thought about it? I'd like to think that You feel I'm not ready for it but erm... time is of the essence. You know I'm not getting any younger, yeah? Tell me what to do, yeah? Seriously, I'm running outta ideas.

Thanks for reading this, Lord. I know You are busy with the whole world to think about so I'm just gonna cut this short.

Kthnxbye. Amen.

p.s. - Don't forget to answer my question, ok? Much love.

The Time of The Year

2011-08-31T12:53:00.004+08:00

When mazafati dates are abundant.

Sticky date pudding with butterscotch and Bud's vanilla ice-cream.

The Butterscotch Sauce

2011-08-29T22:46:00.005+08:00

Make do when one doesn't have a whisk.

WHAT THE HECK! :((((((((

The Game Plan

2011-08-29T21:57:00.003+08:00

My first whole game roast; roasted chicken with apricot and cashew nut stuffing.

I could afford to add more salt and pepper into the stuffing, otherwise the chicken's oh-so-juicy.

Elusive Darlings

2011-08-26T02:24:00.006+08:00

Holy ever-loving dinkum crap! Wilhelm and Mueller still elude me! Those two Lindwurm asses! Mueller especially who kept belittling me (inexperienced, unworthy, inefficient etc). I won every battle with a victory+!! What the heck do you want from me somemore man!?

Oh my god, if I didn't get both of you, I won't be able to get Richard then I'm gonna be 105 stars only!?

*Pulls hair and hit head against wall*

The battles continues tomorrow meanwhile Ms. Rae goes online to download Suikoden 3. It's extinct according to the guy whom she bought Suikoden 5 from.

edit (26/8/2011 2158 hours) - oh yeah I got them boys!

My Kicks

2011-08-25T17:39:00.003+08:00

If I was in the States, my running shoes would be this pair, not the purple one. :-/

Speaking of running, I had to put it off for the sake of my cursed toe. I haven't been hitting gym for nearly three weeks so I gotta control my food which is quite a task since it's Ramadhan. :-/

Oh well.

The Retinue of Knowledge

2011-08-23T02:30:00.013+08:00

Caution: The writer's on strong antibiotics and three different painkillers to battle that holy ever-loving crap of a tonshitlitis. Please pardon the nonsense you are about to read.

Have you ever stopped for a while and thank God for the Internet?

I had quite a few of that moment and am having another one right now. I was googling images up of toenail dropping off and I clicked on one that showed a foot with amputated big toe (Why googling that up? The story, the last paragraph of this entry). From there I found out about a girl named Heather Lawver and how she lost that toe (Cried twice reading that entry). Her story didn't stop there. She fell sick and was diagnosed with Dercums Disease. From there I found out about a persevering surgeon who's a dwarf, while reading his profile on Johns Hopkins' website, I learned about OSMED.

Going back to Heather Lawver, I found out about Potterwar/DADA and China Gymnasts' age scandal at the Olympics, spearheaded by this insanely genius internet security expert that goes by the nick Stryde Hax. From gymnasts' scandal, I went 'damn, male gymnasts' body is the epitome of perfection,' and how China's willing to do anything to get the medals. 'You know how cunning Chinese can be'. Somehow this led me to Marion Jones' scandal.

Actually two sets of thought came to me from this; I am so ever grateful to God for the people who invented the Internet and... oh my god I absolutely forgot about the second one. Never mind now.

Why was I googling toenails? My left one's becoming hollow after got infected by fungus and it looks like it's gonna drop off anytime soon >.< I have extreme fear for nails dropping off. Tell me a story about it and you'll notice I'd curl my fingers and toes up before tucking my fists under my underarms. My doctor and I concluded that the stupid infection is the special package from walking barefoot at the gym showers/lockers. The left corner of my right big toe nail was hollow too last month (and the left 3rd digit too) and I soaked it in Listerine for few days. The hollow part didn't expand and it soon healed. And then I noticed same thing's happening on the right big toe and both 2nd digits. Since I was seeing the doctor for tonshitlitis so I brought the toe issue up. He gave me this medication which I've been using for almost a week, what the heck the nail's now 95% hollow and it's floating on top of the flesh. It's definitely dropping off anytime soon. One good thing prior the medication was it didn't hurt at all but now there's a throbbing sensation coming from the cursed toe. I had to pre-empt my housemate not to use my bathroom for a while to avoid infection and wrote an embarrassing email to my boss seeking permission to wear birks for a while since the cursed toe's all bandaged up (to avoid premature drop-off, the thought of it snagged by something horrifies me) I can't fit into flats. Damnation.

Reason #72649 Why Rae is Such a Geek

2011-08-18T21:58:00.006+08:00

Rae's poring through 145 pages of walk-through to perfect her 3rd round on Suikoden 5.

Viva la Suikoden! See that hot Rahal on the dragon horse!

Wonder if she'll be as determined when she commences her undergrad end of this year. Hah.

Free Wired

2011-08-16T21:36:00.010+08:00

I've been iPhone-less for nearly a year now and I'm still... fine? :D First couple of weeks was hard, adjusting to non-slide, pretty much gameless and non-internet-savvy phone aka Motorola Razr (but it's still good! Does the primary function well!). My fingers couldn't really punch the keypads. Now that I'm used to Razr again, I'm starting question if I really NEED an iPhone. No doubt I do miss my games from time to time but my life ain't depended on it. I don't browse online on the go that much. I'm not on Facebook as frequent as I used to. In fact I'm finding I'm losing privacy via Facebook and I want to kill that conspicuous and exhibitionist habit. People don't have to know what I bought/have or where I've been. Don't you agree with me? I have my blog to do all that ^_^. plus too many ahlians and aunties use iphone nowadays >_<

Yes so, sure enough I loved iPhone. I had the best time with my White Boy. He was there all the time for me. He's never failed me. He gave me everything I needed. :D
But y'see there's a new player in town and his name is PLAY. Sony Ericsson Xperia PLAY. He beckons me with his Playstation-compatible feature - whoa!

Should I wait for it to have more exciting games? And then, am I that huge of a gamer?

Wounded

2011-08-07T02:32:00.009+08:00

Somehow it just eludes me. The more I want it, the harder it gets. Willing to give it a chance, it always falls short I used to wonder why but now I've started to become jaded, not because of surfeit but of deprivation. Fate always makes me feel that I almost had it all.

I'm not giving it up but I'm not banking on it either. I still somewhat hope but at the same time, I dare not to for it would backfire the way it always does.

I had one of the cruelest dreams this morning, although it was a very unlikely scenario but its essence hit the right cord in me. It was bittersweet; a nice fuzzy feeling before that awful 'oh, man' emotional state kicked in, making me curl like the fetus in the womb when I woke up. I really wish I didn't wake up. It's so tedious to clean the shit up when it hits the fan.

Hmm.

Let The Game Begin!

2011-08-04T20:45:00.001+08:00

So guys, yes I did it. :D

Gotta go! Kthnxbye!

A Big Mahalo

2011-08-04T01:41:00.008+08:00

I'm quite annoyed with myself right now. I know not why but I've been wanting to play PS2 again. Past couple of days saw me scouting for good deals for a second-hand PS2 online but not before debating that PS2 or PS3 thingamajiq. Stupid Konami hasn't release any Suikoden for PS3 yet! Bodoh la~!

I thought I might hit downtown to buy one and then suddenly I find myself kicking myself for not buying a plasma tv when I won the RM1.5k vouchers months ago. My mom talked me into using the vouchers on groceries instead.

Ayo! Rae! Why didn't you get the tv instead!? Geram!!! Tak nampak apa-apa pun sekarang, apa yang beli sudah makan dan jadi taik! Kalau beli tv kan baik, hah, nampak lagi kat ruang tamu. Aduh sakitnya hati aku wei!

Food porn ensues.

Just baked a trial batch of zucchini chocolate chip muffins. They're quite bland and have no distinctive taste, unlike the carrot cake. Or maybe I shouldn't have tasted them after eating a bowl of tomyam noodles.

Going back to PS2. I can't wait to reunite with my Zexen knights! :D My dashing Percival~! No, not the blonde one. That's Borus. Percival is the dark-haired dude next to the silver maiden.

Fresh From the Oven

2011-07-30T22:00:00.005+08:00

Aussie carrots were on sale the other day I bought them impulsively so I ended up eating them everyday. Knowing they will go limp in a couple of days, I decided to whip up a carrot cake.

It wasn't easy to find a carrot cake recipe in metric system. You know the best carrot cake would be from an American and they don't use metric system but I was lucky enough to have found a recipe that had been adjusted by a Singaporean and the health-conscious blogger reduced sugar a lot in her recipe making it a bit tasteless and too crumbly. From her recipe, I think I could afford to add more sugar and cinnamon powder (why the heck she reduced the latter I wouldn't have any idea!) and I think I should bake it in a flatter tray.

Add (1/8/2011): I'm tolerant of butter and Philly cheese. My tummy didn't bloat. Yay.

It Goes Like This, Y'see...

2011-07-27T22:10:00.008+08:00

I have a dream, I want to be a Tai-Tai. :D But since finding a filthy rich husband is like searching a needle in haystack, I thought I should do something so I could become one in my own right. Yeah it's far out ain't it? The first requirement to be a Tai-Tai is having a rich husband oh WTH. Ok, let's throw out hyperbole thingamajiq. What I'm trying to say is that it's high time for me to stop spending without giving a rat's ass. Yes, no doubt I'm a huge advocate of superior brand=superior quality but there are things that one doesn't have to spend her whole year's salary on. Having said that, I've just purchased a dirt cheap bag :D RM30. That's almost 81% off the original price.

Bottega intrecciato + Balenciaga City silhoutte = Rae's new bag. I'm so cheapo! By the way, I saw they sell lookalikes of Madison Gathered Leather Sophia and Large Shoulder Bag of same Collection there too! How dare they!?

Check out time. I'd like buy more shoes (and clothes. 70%!) actually but it was closing time so I reckon I'd come back the next day. I work at the same complex by the way plus tomorrow is payday!

I'm planning to spend the weekend back at parents' house and since it's brother's 32nd birthday, we are thinking of a mini bbq. It's been a while since we did that so yeah I'm probably gonna go to Jusco to get a bbq grill (my dad's a McGuyver, he taught us to make a make-shift bbq grill; 4 bricks and cut chicken wire fence, you dig? The best part is that there's no washing/scrubbing required after party. You just chuck the fence away!). Maybe I shouldn't do that, my dad probably would have a lot to say about dragging a bbq grill home. Plus I need to save up, needn't I?

Ok dokey, Friday's karaoke session with my team and I'll be homebound to Perak. Off to google up License to Grill Rob Rainford's bbq recipes!

You have a splendid weekend too!

Pile it Up!

2011-07-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

Earlier in the afternoon, we were at 14th place. We dropped a place! Oh heck, I'm hitting the treddy later! And look at that, my partner runs double my mileage. Other than that, winning free entry to the Race is kinda encouraging though I must say word has it that the Race is being organized half-assedly. *Shrugs*

Just Like Macy Day's Parade Balloon

2011-07-24T21:05:00.003+08:00

Last week proved that I can no longer tolerate cheese. A double cheese sandwich had my tummy all gassed up like Macy Day's Parade balloon. It's already a misery that I can't eat peanut butter, rojak, popiah, satay or anything that's got peanut, now anything lactose? My lactase factory totally shuts down. :(

This week saw me treating tonsillitis and fever after eating too much Famous Amos' butterscotch cookies. Haven't had solid food for the past 2 days I'm getting cranky. It's been so long since I had fever it sucks. Joints hurt all over, my back was sore like crazy.

Sigh.

'Twas a West End Production

2011-07-17T23:32:00.003+08:00

I had free tickets for West End's Magical Musical @ Sunway Lagoon and my seat got upgraded too. It was fun. :D

I stole the Saturday Night Fever pose photo from some random blog cos I can't take a decent picture with my crappy but reliable Razr.

Hello Mr. Charley Speed

2011-07-14T04:34:00.002+08:00

I had the hugest crush on him when he just came out modelling and I believe it was circa 1998 as I've just finished high school. I spotted him on a Calvin Klein ad print and later, he was in Elton John's Something About The Way You Look Tonight music video. Internet was a luxury back then so I had no idea what his name was. Now that the internet is my slave... huhuhu.

Mr. Speed won 1997 VH1/Vogue Male Model of the Year.

Fast forward, he now looks like this:

Not really my cup of tea. Oh well. :D

Killing the Mockingbird

2011-07-10T18:20:00.005+08:00

I'm currently reading Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird and halfway at chapter 1 when Scout was describing her family's housekeeper Calpurnia, I realised I've read it before! 4 years ago, when I was bumming at Downtown East's Starbucks, Singapore! And the best part is that I don't remember how the novel ends!

I made a point to read more this year ergo I did not mind splurging on books. My current favourite so far is Bill Brown's autobiography, Billy Brown I'll Tell Your Mother. I prefer this to Frank McCourt's Pulitzer-winning Angela's Ashes. I read from somewhere that Mr. Brown's daughter claimed his father's coming up with more volumes oh yeah I'm excited. It's the funniest autobiographies I've read so far. Angela Ashes' good too, I'll say that there were just too many deaths in the book but this won't stop me from getting the two follow-ups, 'Tis and Teacher Man.

I probably should read J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye and Joseph Heller's Catch-22.

p.s. - The Game is outrageously funny! Watch it!

The Subliminal Fact Behind The Comedy

2011-07-05T14:46:00.005+08:00

I love The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I love every main character of both shows, yes, even Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

But there's just one thing that bothers me a lot; Robin & Penny sleeps around. Robin dated Ted and she hooked up with Barney. Penny was with Leonard and the season 4's finale had Penny slept with Raj. Don't forget they dated many other guys in between. The creators of each sitcom really pimped them out for cheap gags.

No, It's Not That Big

2011-06-29T11:33:00.003+08:00

Three decades walking on this surface and I'm doing it almost unscathed. :)

Truth be told, it doesn't feel THAT big. Apart from feeling hey, I'm here for 30 years, everything else feels the same.

The Point Being 16

2011-06-21T15:30:00.006+08:00

After the battery of the sensor went flat and it was sold out in Malaysia, I never really bothered to hit the treddy and I just piled my mileage on a stat bike so when I logged in my account at Nike+, my log showed 16km for 2010. What the phuey! :D

I've started running again and 10km per run seems easy this time around but the treddies at my residence are just so downright discouraging. It decided to shut down automatically when I was on my 8th km last night. As soon as my gym transfer's done, I'm probably gonna start my kick-boxing regime again.

Other than that, I just wanna show off my latest big purchase, it bears the logo below. :D

Old But...

2011-06-14T13:36:00.002+08:00

Oh Kobe. WTF?

Dogs Are The Greatest Thing on Earth

2011-05-30T02:51:00.003+08:00

I'm crazy about dogs. I think they are the most awesome thing God has ever created for humans. Below are pictures of some Malaysian K-9 police unit demo that I found online and they are hilarious.

See a couple of doggies among the audience? They were fixed watching the 'big boys' doing some action. I find it really funny.
The after demo photo. The GSD whose head being petted by 'the villian' was really cute. "Hey aren't you the one I wanted to tear into pieces just now?" And then look at that lab, what a pleaser/ass-kisser/show-off.

Oh my god, they are so goofy. :D

Dream Within a Dream

2011-05-27T17:23:00.002+08:00

Apparently I was wrong to think that I was the last one person on earth to watch Inception.

I'm ridiculously bored right now, internet's like oompa-lumpa I can't entertain myself with youtube. I've watched all The Big Bang Theory episodes. I couldn't finish watching From Prada To Nada because of the god-awful fake tans the two main stars sported. I can't figure out why Ne-yo wouldn't marry his baby mama.

Some Kinda Prank God's Playing with Me

2011-05-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating this blog. Nothing inspires me. I'm sorry this entry is going to be another rant.
My machine crashed and was sent to the service centre. They replaced a new HDD but all my stuff were gone :( My Sabah trip photos are gone. Absolutely gone.

What's God's deal with my love life?! Has He got some kinda problem with me? I'm halfway giving up on this.

One of my staff members kept eggs in her locker and one egg cracked for days it stank up the whole place! The best part is that she stained my chair and my bag while cleaning. Fucking hell, my bag stank so much I had to throw it away.

As Nice As The Cowdung

2011-05-07T16:03:00.005+08:00

My mood of late isn't the best. In other words, I'm as pissy as hell. Please let me just rant.

1. Had a huge row with a guy whom I've just met, because his wrist hurts and I crack my knuckles subconsciously (while asleep). He's the masculine version of me, seriously.

2. The a/c at my workplace sucks far out.

3. There's a family of cats immigrated to the hollow ceiling subjecting me to constant meows while slogging through paperwork. The mall management didn't believe us.

4. There's a dead rodent stench lingered at my workplace and the management (the chief engineer to be precise) insisted to mask it with some mothball thingamajiq (What the F). Today, out of the blue, the people came and extracted 2 dead kittens (another what the F). They informed us they've caught mother cat so that's probably why the kittens were left dead (WHAT THE F!).

5. A staff member of mine ticks me off in every way. She's got to be the most dependent/neediest/reliant chick I've ever met. Doesn't like to go everywhere/do anything alone. WTF woman, grow up!

6. My teeth hurt because of the bleaching thingamajiq.

Sabah According to Rae

2011-04-27T21:12:00.006+08:00

Sandakan Airport.

Sandakan Town from Puu Ji Shih.

Agnes Keith House.

Memorial Park. Lest We Forget.

Memorial Park.

We are camouflaging. Yeah.

Ain't I cute?

When I whipped out my camera to take a shot, he flapped his wings up so I thought wth this bird is posing for me. Seconds later, he peed like he'd never peed before and dropped a huge pile of shit. Oh what a class act.

Borneo. @ RDC

Taking a ride on mini bus to town (to get more cash cos everything here is cash only)

Adrian & Mike hunching over taking pictures of a bee's hive on the fattest/tallest tropical tree in Asia (or somewhere). Mike is hot by the way. Winner of Most Captivating Smile in my book ^_^

Our cousins having their lunch.

My bathroom. Real awesome.

Stairways to heaven, not. Gomantong Caves. It's full of shit, mice, cockroaches and everything yucky. Huhuhu.

Gomantong Cave.

A Dance of Intimacy

2011-04-27T02:04:00.002+08:00

We are all lonely souls. My loneliness today won't be fooled by any romantically paranoid justification. I'm not blaming anyone particular for this solitude.

I believe people who suffer from loneliness can be, if not are, caring; paradoxically someone who is more self-centred will surround himself with friends and won't expect much from them. At least emotionally speaking.

But when you expect something like intimacy, you may get disappointed and feel isolated more easily.

Right now I'm confused because I have true tenderness for someone that keeps distance between the two of us. I can accept that, closeness can be as fateful as emotional distance to a relationship. We need some distance to see the other as distinct from a fantasy.

In case of troubles, someone that is too much like you won't be much of a help. So we shouldn't melt into each other. Finding the right distance is quite hard. Where is the respect? Where is the indifference?

You Remind Me...

2011-04-23T21:33:00.002+08:00

Ne-yo and the GF. This picture reminds me so much of the time me salsa-ing with a guy. Good times.

The Land Below The Wind

2011-04-23T02:27:00.002+08:00

Road to Gomantong Cave.

Yeah I'm back. Amazing trip. Will post more pictures soon. :)

Capisce?

2011-04-11T13:25:00.004+08:00

Westies always remind me of Vito Corleone. :D

Reason #412324 Why Rae is Fed Up with Malaysian Guys

2011-04-10T23:19:00.002+08:00

Rae will write you a text saying "I had a missed call from your number so I'm returning it. Have the ~~coconuts~~ courtesy to let me know you dialed the number wrong instead of hanging up on me you asshole,".

Jesus christ.

Rocketeer

2011-04-07T23:23:00.003+08:00

Rocketeer is a person who launches, rides in, or pilots rockets. Anyhoo, that song's been looping endlessly in my head. Past couple of days were crazy. With work and somehow I did manage to squeeze in night outs, dinner-and-shopping with girlfriend, hosted dinner and in between, there was some physical action going on. :D

The membership fee of the commercial gym in the building I work at is outrageously expensive. It's 50% more expensive than my current gym membership. But I'll admit the facilities and the environment are much better and of satisfactory.

No It's Not Me, It's You

2011-04-02T02:47:00.002+08:00

You know, sometimes you don't have to talk. I like the silence between us. It's relaxing and almost enlightening. I like the pace and I don't feel the need to rush. I'd like to know you at my pace and I dislike confrontations.

Whatever I said unintentionally might have ticked you off but that doesn't earn me the attitude you showed to me. You made me feel as if I was the only one who was wrong. Hey it takes two to tango. You aren't perfect too.

We Are The Same Crew

2011-03-21T14:58:00.004+08:00

Can't help thinking Milo was a Miniature Great Pyrenees. The resemblances are just uncanny.

Sexy All OVer

2011-03-20T19:19:00.002+08:00

Everything I find sexy is in this photo: Angelina Jolie, aeroplanes and pilots. Yums.

Justice League's Issue with iPhone

2011-03-15T11:44:00.003+08:00

I love Flash.

Darn, right? :D

Absolute Convenience My Ass

2011-03-09T21:55:00.003+08:00

Celcom's running a promotion for additional data volume and we could purchase it online or by giving them a call. The ads are all over the website and the deal's pretty decent since internet's awfully expensive here so we're online right now, we'd buy online right but the only god-damn problem is that you probably gonna spend god-damn 10-15 minutes searching for that god-damn 'buy' button. The web developer(s) had it parked under god-damn 'Fair Usage Policy' on god-damn 'My Account' tab. Among the main tabs are 'Home', 'Account Details', 'My Account', 'Payment', 'Service', "Promotion', 'Profile' and 'Log Out'. God-damn Celcom had the word 'absolute convenience' plastered all over and I gotta tell you parking that god-damn 'buy' button there (not 'Service' and not 'Promotion') when you are promoting the deal is just god-damn plain dumb. God-damn plain dumb!

Grrr!

The Big Nasty Called Love

2011-03-04T19:34:00.004+08:00

Once a while you'd probably find an entry or two of me whining about lack of male company but you know what, today I just feel damn lucky that I'm single.

Two of my staff members have just broken up with their respective boyfriends (too jealous and too controlling). A married member is in constant verge of tears because the husband deleted her facebook account (for whatever reasons I don't wanna know). Another is underfire for spending too much. I don't know why and how, I served as their Aunt Agony.

After listening to their lament and shit, I gotta say singlehood is awesome. Really awesome. :D

I Heart Sheldon Lee Cooper

2011-03-02T23:52:00.005+08:00

The title is quite irrelevant but I do love him. I can't decide who do I love most; him or Barney Stinson. And by the way, it broke my heart when the producers decided to break Barney and Robin off.

My post-CNY sickness (heatiness - on-off fever, cough, tonshitlitis) has finally gone after trips to three different doctors. The last doctor prescribed me with some crazy-ass strong anti-biotics and cough medicine that really knocked my sanity off but I love her for that.

On another hand, MSN decides to block my live messenger account for whatever reasons I'm unaware of, it sucks.

And before I end this, somebody please be a kind soul and take my stomach and gut out and feed them to the ferrets! They hurt so much and too frequent. It must be that fish I got from Jusco. Argh!

No Photos Please!

2011-02-27T22:17:00.001+08:00

The Night of Masque & Alter Ego

2011-02-27T11:33:00.003+08:00

Two nights ago was the annual D&D, it was fabulous. Despite the theme, I did see a Karl Lagerfeld, an Anna Wintour and even an Amy Winehouse (I heard initial theme was Fashion Icon, I reckon they didn't get the latest memo?)but I gotta say there were Lady Gagas aplenty. Ms. Chang got a 28-inch globe (WTF, right?) as a doorgift and a big whooper, RM1500 worth of shopping vouchers from the lucky draw. Awesome, right? Plenty of pictures on facebook.

Words had it that there were fights among drunkards, thank God I left early. But I did have a little bathroom accident at home. Whooped my lips on the hand basin, bled inside out literally.

So yeah, I'm gonna think what to reward myself with that RM1.5k vouchers... a plasma tv sounds nice, isn't it? :D

The Future Seemed So Bright on the First Page

2011-02-17T14:05:00.003+08:00

Sorry I went AWOL for the past weeks. Chinese New Year, as usual, is a gastronomical delight albeit a low-key one with me falling sick for eating too much. Yay. Haven't been working out much too oh the gym downstairs isn't motivating plus it reeks old carpet. I've morphed into a couch/bed potato marathoning on The Pacific, 3 seasons of The Big Bang Theory and a couple of movies. Less movements + unchanged calorie intake = weight gain. Simple math. Mahalo~

I gotta say that MPH at my workplace has got to be the worst bookstore ever. It has the

worst and probably the shortest booklist I have ever seen it's a shame it shouldn't be called a bookstore at all. More like a stationery store if you ask me. I would have thought it as impressive as Borders (which by the way is expected to file bankruptcy this month. I hate e-books), if not better since we are in the vicinity of ahem, prestigious private universities and colleges. What the french hell. Popular, on the hand, is commendable especially when they have buy one get one free promo right now and they have the books I've been wanting to have in the promo list. There's no such thing as buying too many books. :D

Everything's a bit slow and behind schedule. The bestest thing mentioned 2 posts prior is on the way and it isn't quite here yet it's a bummer. My social circle isn't expanding, in contrary is shrinking instead. Another french hell. I gotta get outta here and start meeting people again. Work, home, work, home is a vicious cycle that doesn't sit well with me.

Good news is that my old Dell laptop has resurrected. Took RM250 from my pocket to have it revived (motherboard replaced) so it's sunshine on my cloudy day. Watching movies on a 14-inch is great for my eyes though I'm not forsaking Miniboy. Miniboy works faster on web-surfing and other stuff so I guess it's settled that the additional machine isn't gonna be a redundant.

Another is I'm pushing through my Sepilok trip despite looking bleak during initial planning. Flight tickets bought. Accommodations booking is halfway there. Almost complete. All I gotta do is probably arranging land transfer and I'm good to go. I wish it's April now. :D

Next Friday is the company's annual D&D with exciting theme; Masquerade at a nice place; JW Marriott. Mahalo!

Gong Hei Fatt Choy

2011-02-11T17:01:00.001+08:00

Sweetest Song

2011-01-23T22:27:00.004+08:00

I was just told the bestest thing in the world today. Wow I can hear the angels sing. It feels like the heavy dark clouds on my sky start to drift apart and let the sun shine through. Oh my god, I finally can start to BREATHE. Oh god, I can feel I'm getting sane again.

Watch out this space for it. :)

It Bit Rae

2011-01-22T21:21:00.007+08:00

The travel bug (imagine a bug with a backpack) bit me, that's what.

I'm in the midst of planning another solo vacay which most likely to happen in April. East-bound this time, I'm aiming Sepilok, Sandakan. Yeap, that orang utan sanctuary. I pretty much have the itinery somewhat planned. Well, there isn't much to be planned supposedly. I reckon I'd spend most of the time at the sanctuary and the 'tropical retreat' that I've developed an affinity to via their website. Now the issue is that since I'm local and hold an at least 4 years in hospitality management so I should be more how-do-you-say... familiar and of course, able to maneuver without the help of travel websites, placing bookings and that sort online; all those will probably get myself into paying more than I should. The thing is that while living in Singapore, I got polluted; I didn't mind paying extra (for the convenience and the unnecessary things). It has got to be the worst habit I have ever developed. I gotta blame it on the MCP. Fuck the affinity to so-called luxury lifestyle. Pardon my French.

If all gone well with this trip, I'd brave myself a backpacking to Siem Reap. My sis is pretty interested in that. Now, where can I buy a North Face backpack?

photo: www.dailymail.co.uk

Excusez-moi!

2011-01-22T12:38:00.005+08:00

Out of public eye, I'm committing a serious fashion faux pas today. I'm wearing a tiger-striped sweater with polka shorts, topping of with multi-colored stripe headband. Awesome, isn't it? The consolation to self: at least it's color co-ordinated. Hah!

The fever has began to subside but now am crippled by a blocked nose. Two consecutive days being bed-ridden is both fun and nyeh. Amused myself with American farmlife blogs; Welcome Comfort Farm and Rural Ramblings. Absolutely bliss sans the blocked nose.

Word has it that back home the younger Ms Chang is baking up the storm as I type this. She's baking about 2kg worth of green pea cookie (my absolute favorite, a replacement of peanut cookie now that I can't eat peanuts). I requested her for the extra kg so I could bring back to KL PJ for my personal indulgence. CNY is about a couple weeks away and truth be told, I ain't feeling it. Heck, I'm not even looking forward to go home for it.

So yeah, I'm gonna go continue reading Rural Ramblings.

Here's a Quaker to You

2011-01-20T21:52:00.005+08:00

I used to hate oatmeal. Wait, let me rephrase that. I hated oatmeal until today. I didn't know or I forgot how tasty oatmeal is. I don't remember if mom made us eat oatmeal when we were younger. Anyway, frankly, I don't quite like runny food e.g. porridge/congee, oatmeal and stuff of that sort cos they sure looked like baby upchuck. Eeew...

I'm goddamn sick today; it's the annual January fever that I can't seem to dodge. So I left work today and had no appetite for anything solid, which is quite a rare situation. There's no rice at home, a weird situation for a Malaysian household. Searched here and there and found a Mr. Quaker-Oat-man smiling at me. Reluctantly, I googled up recipes and made myself a bowl of oatmeal with fried egg and boy, it was yummy.

There you go, my love story with oatmeal.

And speaking of Quakers, it's been a childhood dream of mine to own a Quaker-influenced house, or more precisely, a house with Shaker furniture.

Man, I can't really write today so I think I'm just gonna go bum myself on the bed. Nasty flu. Bleh.

I Used Only The Good Notes

2011-01-18T22:47:00.003+08:00

Miles: I also wrote one (melody) that sounds like you.

Iris: You did?

Miles: Iris, if you were a melody. I used only the good notes.

That is one hella a pick-up line that made me choke. I know one person who would paint another in a good light and that was the MCP.

Goes Troopin' on the Ol' Sputnik

2011-01-14T21:28:00.003+08:00

Lemme just whine for a fair bit.

OOOOOOHHHH MMMMYYYY GGGGGODDDDDDD~ I'm getting fat it's ridiculous. My jeans are freaking tight, that extra layer around my tummy is just plain annoying and I even experience extreme water retention every single day.

Few months ago, I developed a mindset that I can eat whatever I wanted as I work out at the gym like crazy. And the bad news is that I still have that in my mind even though my workouts have been reduced and I'm less active at new workplace (where I pretty much spend most of the time on the desk) so I definitely gotta do something about that, shouldn't I? The gym at the complex where I stay is just not as encouraging as the commercial gym I used to go. And another thing to add, it's noticeably cold out here I have to wear sweater almost every night but it isn't a bad thing. It's better than hot, ain't it?

Again, I've turned into an involuntary workaholic. Man, while I thought I might, you know maybe, I could meet a new and different pool of men over here but I am yet to be proven right. Some masculine kinda company would be really helpful if you get what I mean?

The One and Only

2011-01-04T22:45:00.003+08:00

Seems like this cute thing is the one and only in Malaysia and it is under my care. Look at its tail, hey! www.cute-until-can-die.com. :D

Edit (20/01):: Coachie the dog now has a younger sibling currently under the care of the Empire Subang Gallery store :D

Post-Mortem: 2010

2011-01-02T13:26:00.008+08:00

1. Relocated to KL.

2. Signed up a gym membership and hit the gym very regularly.

3. Learned kickboxing and picking up muay thai slowly.

4. Very much unimpressed with Malaysian work etiquettes/ethics, whatever.

5. Contemplated to be a playa but decided it to be a no-go.

6. Visited Bangkok for the first time but as a business trip.

7. The laptop died.

8. Got involved with a guy 7 years younger and it went pretty bad.

9. Constantly had allergy reactions from peanuts. I swear almost everything in Malaysia has peanuts in them.

10. Got robbed twice. Lost my iPhone. *Cries*

11. Suffers from reverse culture shock.

12. Relocated to PJ for a new job.

13. Got crazy with Adidas Originals.

14. Milo left for a better place.

15. Learned to appreciate beers. Left the hoegaarden team and joined corona, pure blonde and kilkenny. Shit even guinness started to taste nice.

New year's eve, like Christmas, was low-key. Left work early and stayed home throughout watching Cameron Diaz's chick flicks. The Holiday is cute. Jude Law is cute which reminds me to download Repo Man. I swore off chick flicks a couple of years ago for what I can't remember but after re-watching them again, I can tell you the exact reason why; I hate how my eyes are swollen the next day from weeping. Chick flicks, particularly rom-coms make me weep. Quote Mr. Law, "I'm a major weepah!"

New year however was a different story. It marked the first party of the year at my favourite place (it being favourite cos I happen to know the head bouncer and he gets me in free huhuhu). Bar-hopped cos the other bar offer cheaper booze. Bumped into the Scottish ass who's in town, said hi and bye. Returned to favourite place, partied and pictures taken with random people. And oh how I missed the thumping music that take over my body and make nothing else matters.

Resolutions. I don't have any definite ones but I definitely wanna cut down my happy drink intake and of course, learn a new thing or two. I reckon it's ice skating this year.

I look forward to another awesome year. :)

Taking the Final Bow of the Year

2010-12-29T22:29:00.004+08:00

It's quite a show, this year. A melodrama with some unbelievable stuff that went down with it. I am just glad that things got back on track and start to move forward again. God's good to me.

I reckon I'm gonna end this year working my ass off. It's been a crazy-ass week, clocking at least 12 hours per day ever since I relocated but it's great. It's something that I built from the scratch. The satisfaction is tremendous and the sense of belonging is awesome. Christmas this year was very much low-key. I walked past throngs of party-goers and went home on the eve. There isn't a single ounce of happy drink in my system since, god knows when... hmm, since October?

I need it on New Year. I need to go party before I go bonkers, no joke. It's been way too long.

I need a larger workspace seriously. And that thing is one of the two odd-ass building structures that somehow got 'trapped' in my office.

Have I ever told you that I love lists? And have I ever told you that I need lists to operate? Ever since moving to the new place and my new store started to trade, I had no time to even make a shopping list but just making mental notes to buy whatever needed as I go on. But today when I finally had the time to go do some homey shopping thing, heck the minister of cerebrum decided to take an emergency leave.

Moved

2010-12-16T21:53:00.003+08:00

This time, light-weight. :D

Kismet as My Plots Weave Themselves

2010-12-13T03:19:00.004+08:00

Five years ago, Rae's dad found a cute tortoise and it kept the dogs really busy.

Four years ago, Rae went AWOL online.

Three years ago, Rae chilled it out at Balaclava with then good friend.

Two years ago, Rae thought she'd be hitting zoukOut again but she stayed home.

One year ago, Rae was trying to get back to her feet and rebuild herself again.

Today, Rae was in the transition.

2010 soon gonna come to an end. It started out good. In between some stuff got better however by the last quarter of the year, I was caught off-guard and got thrown into some shithouse that yet again impugned my sanity (hyperbole working overtime here). What I am trying to say is karma bit my ass. I'm not gonna call karma bad names again. Karma's ain't a bitch, she's just being fair. But really, it's something I'm trying to convince myself that I somehow deserved what I got. It isn't giving up and it isn't accepting it either. It's just... I have no idea what it is.

Nonetheless, things are going the way it should be after the damned bloodbath. The engines are running again and ready to go. As much as I don't wanna get heart broken again, I will remain somewhat positive. My knight-in-shining-armor is gonna take a little longer to reach me because he's just too stubborn to ask for directions, a little something I keep telling myself to make things more acceptable. Honestly, there are days that I just believe that it's my kismet to be alone. Pathetic, ain't it?

In Loving Memory

2010-12-09T23:48:00.006+08:00

I loved the way you held your chuck until we reached home the first time you rode my car.

I loved how inquisitive you were and you thought cats were your best friends until Aldo brainwashed you.

I loved how you kept us in suspense, worrying if you were mute when we brought you home and you didn't bark for the few months. When you finally did, the angels sang and we cried in joy.

I loved how you sang along the paddlepop ice-cream song played each time the ice-cream man drove past.

I loved how gentle and patient you were with little bully named Aldo.

I loved how crazy you were with your food. But eating frogs is just too much.

I loved how easy it was to walk you on leash.

I loved how you used to drag your still-wet body against my dirty car right after I bathed you.

I loved how you loved being towel-dried.

I loved how you enjoyed being brushed.

I loved what a bum you were and Aldo couldn't sit still.

I loved how you always greeted me each time I reached home.

I loved watching you having serious sniffing sessions unleashed.

I loved how patient you were with me when I cleaned your ears.

I loved how you made mom complained to me by making puppy eyes to her.

I loved how confident you were climbing up the stairs when Aldo and Coco chickened out the challenge.

I loved you for being a fierce fighter when you were inches away from death because of tick fever.

I loved the way you showed me what a tough dog you were at the vet. Jabs meant nothing to you.

I loved you for staying a little longer even though you were so sick because of your kidneys.

I'm sorry for not spending as much time as I should have with you.

I'm sorry for being lazy sometimes and letting mom walk you when what you wanted was walking with me.

I'm sorry for dragging you to the beach when you hated it.

I'm sorry for day-dreaming during a walk and let you walked into a drain. But it was so funny, wasn't it?

I'm sorry that you always had sores on your tail.

I'm sorry I overfed you for a period of time, making you overweight and had to subject you to a diet after.

I'm sorry for being so selfish, always wanting you to stay a little longer.

I'm sorry for thinking of euthanasia and giving you up when your kidneys got worsened two months ago.

I'm sorry I wasn't there when you left.

Thank you for the 6 wonderful years, Milo. You will always have a special place in my heart. I love you.

24.11.2010

He Who Answers

2010-12-09T23:34:00.001+08:00

So God read my rant on my blog last night and He decided to take action. Booyah.

My Name is Rae and I Come in Peace

2010-12-08T21:34:00.003+08:00

Workplace is shit if you ask me. I mean I love my jobscope but the people at the place where I'm currently being trained at right now sucks downright I wish I've never met them. They are rude, impatient and think that they are the boss. What the hell, man? Frankly speaking, I just can't wait for my training to finish and get outta there. What a shitass place to be at, that one.

On the other hand, zoukOut is on the weekend and I'm still thinking if I should go. Dilemma.

Because... That's Why.

2010-12-05T06:05:00.005+08:00

When it's good then it's good

It's so good 'till it goes bad

'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had

I have heard myself cry 'never again'

Broken down in agony

And just trying to find a friend

-Pink

I'm back to square one which isn't a shitty thing cos I'd like to think that God pushed the RESTART button for me. I embrace new beginnings. New beginnings can be taxing but they aren't a bad thing.

I remembered how I was whining about the state of my dating life and ironically, I met Prime Minister few days after that post. It was good at first but wonderland turned into shithouse overnight, I had the taste of 'be careful of what you wish for' nastiness.

Dang, am I destined to be alone in this life? Dang, I had weird things partying in my head that I'd live this life alone and on judgment day, I'd ask God why. He'd reply "That's because you are strong enough to walk this life alone, dearest Rae". Oh Lord, I know You love me but that's just too cruel.

I think I should stop staying up too late and let the nasties get to me too much. Huh.

Perfect Tango

2010-11-30T00:35:00.001+08:00

A note for the future "THE ONE".

When I pout, you persuade.

When you pray, I say amen.

When I cook, you eat.

When you are tired, I massage your shoulder and rub your feet.

When I fall, you hoist me up and carry me.

When you conquer, I rejoice.

When I need to fight, you are my sword and my shield.

When you hunger, I be your bread.

When I thirst, you are my wine.

When you write, I am your pen.

When I dance, you are the music.

Play Me Like a Violin, Make The Strings Talk With Your Fingertips

2010-11-29T04:56:00.002+08:00

I have a lot of things in my mind and I wanted them to come out from there but I just can't find the right words.

Sigh.

One of a Kind

2010-11-16T16:16:00.007+08:00

Oh I'm sorry I was away for quite some time. I've been busy and lazy.

Work's great albeit its oompalumpa pace. It's a new challenge for me but it's definitely an upgrade in many ways. And instead of morphing into a recluse like I used to, I challenged myself to go out more often and it's been good :)

I was just reading through my blog entries circa early Singapore and oh how I've missed the hyperbole and the deluded eloquence my writings contained. The entries were light and fun and perhaps, a bit air-headed but they were all good. I was having the time of my life.

One thing I noticed when I got back to Malaysia is that the people I hang out regularly with are mostly, no wait, ALL younger than me. Damn it isn't by my choice, it just happened. The youngest is my 20-year-old trainer, Riri (but he sure as hell looked like he's in mid-twenties). It makes me wonder if I should start to act my age and hang out with people my age.

Rae and her people, Sherri, Riri & Mat @ rootz. Yes, I am a dwarf.

Playtime

2010-11-03T17:43:00.009+08:00

Because:

1. I missed halloween this year.

2. I was bored.

3. I was inspired.

4. I love being Chinese.

BMW is asking me to rsvp their lounge party this Nov 13th. It's very unfortunate I have to hit 'NO'. It seems it's a NO GO for ZoukOut this year too as it's gonna be a massive day at new workplace. Absolutely no way I could dodge it.

New job starts on Monday, a week later than I forsaw/aimed. Nonetheless, it's even bigger and better. Booyah!

Imma trying to keep posts short for a while. Long posts tend to reek of shit and nothing nice. Enough said.

The Night Before All Hollows Day

2010-10-31T02:28:00.011+08:00

In 2004, she never really cared about Halloween.

In 2005, she celebrated the 'ween on graveyard shift and she entertained herself with Turk Fic.

In 2006, she played PS2 to get through it.

In 2007, she was freaking out, searching almost frantically for a new (and nearer to city) place to stay.

In 2008, she rocked it with Zara team @ St. James as a zombie in sexy school uniform.

In 2009, she celebrated it with a group of friends watching some ghost movie that got her scared shitless.

In 2010, she had plans to rock it but got bailed out.

Damn.

On another note, she's been dodging gym due to...

She aimed for Alicia Keys but out came Jaden Smith instead. Heh.

Luv Sic (Part 2)

2010-10-27T02:40:00.002+08:00

Amazing cover of my favorite by Jason Yang. This version makes me close my eyes and just chill. The breves curl my toes. But at the same time, this version echoes my unfortunate experience with the Prime Minister. Now I'm trying to move the fuck on but I heard stories of him and they made me sad.

Rae, if moving on isn't exactly what you want to do, then stop being a pussy and do something about it. You piss the shit outta me.

Hold Yer Horses

2010-10-26T02:41:00.005+08:00

Wow I wrote two long entries before I decided on posting this one. Both entries just made me look like I'm still brewing over the Prime Minister. I wasn't looking forward to meet the Prime Minister but when I did, I felt slightly... happy? And he seemed happy to see me too cos he couldn't stop smiling? Am I weird or what? Well, I have to stop doing/being that. Tupac said to me that I could spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together justifying what could've done, would've happened... OR I could just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. So yeah. Move the fuck on, Rae. We all know you miss his smile, but don't you miss your smile more?

From now on, Imma look at good stuff. I won't ignore the bad ones but I'm just gonna spend less time on them.

1. Boy it was so damn good to see my people again! I was so happy to have partied with my two favourite party animals; Yuwa and Sherri on last Saturday.

2. Everyone's been saying Rae's gotten chubby and once pinched my cheeks for god's sake. Losing the junk is the priority #1.

3. I questioned my faith of late. I believe in God but my actions are questionable. I also realise how much I am willing to give up/sacrifice for my happiness (referring to my botch up with the PM). I've been searching for the answer for too long it has confused me so Imma take a break from it for now.

4. It seems like I have a curse with personal trainers. My ex personal trainer, Rahmat, had the habit of not turning up for my sessions (but he did become my friend) and now my new trainer, Riri, didn't turn up for muay thai today. Wei...

I'm trying to look at this issue positively. It's a test of patience and politics for me.

5. I got greedy and bought 2 pairs of Adidas Originals Honey Low. One is the new edition that I got last Saturday and another pair is the limited edition of Fafi's from Japan. I shouldn't spend.

6. Mommy dearest bought me a netbook so I won't be bored and I could look for jobs online. Missing is the iPhone. By the way, iPhone 5... for real?

No Rae You Are Not Crazy, You Are Just Plain Weird

2010-10-22T04:23:00.002+08:00

I'll be straight up. I'm suffering some sort of culture shock in KL despite having to have lived in a city (Singapore that is) for 5 years before. KL is one hell of a city and I'm having an almost insufferable love-hate relationship with it. Oh I'm back in KL just in case you are interested.

Also, to back my notion up I just did the weirdest things today. Twice of a same thing to the Prime Minister and another that would kinda affect me professionally, it makes me wonder "what the hell?" now when I think about it and it's too dumb to even write them out here so I'm just gonna opt it out, keeping them in my head. I think I have completely lost my mind.

Now another thing is that I love gym. Despite how stupid the Prime Minister has affected me and my gym routine and it's unbelievable amount of unsatisfied members. Quoted from a forum thread I found about my gym:

sometimes, their pt staff will buat bising and 'iyarr iyarr iyarr" f****ing around with each other buat bising as if this is fking school. cmon la. grow the f up la. low class people in a high class mall. go out and eat ur nasi putih with kicap and ride ur motorbike la.

The last sentence is way too hilarious and has became one of the couple of stuff like 'fuck you' and 'go straight to hell' I wanted to throw at the Prime Minister in his oh-still-cute-face because it's pretty much the truth about him. Anyway that isn't the point. What I wanted to say is that working out has become a huge part of my life and I feel downright guilty and fat if I had free time and not spending it in the gym working my ass off for a perkier one. And mind you, having to have spent three weeks at home made me face rounder and butt bigger. My former PT (resigned) called me chubby when we hung out the night after I reached KL. Not just this commercial gym, I like the local old school gym back home as a matter of fact I worked out even harder there, futile if you want the truth since I ate more than a pig would. Nyeh.

Look, it's almost 4.30 in the morn and I have a job interview the next day I should sleep.

Good night.